This is the iPhone 17e. By just using the number of the current iPhone and slapping an E at the end of it, Apple was able to reinvent the lineup that used to belong to the SE. And it worked. Last year’s iPhone 16e made up 11% of iPhone’s market share, which is more than double that of the most successful SE model.
You see, for customers here in the US, it’s not actually about the iPhone. It’s about iOS. That’s where their friends are. That’s where their memories are. That is the ecosystem they are trapped in. So, if you can sell them a phone that runs iOS, is affordable, and kind of looks like the more premium version, you win.
And next week, Apple makes the iPhone 17e official, with an announcement likely landing in the newsroom on the website.
Dynamic Island: The Big Question
The headlining feature? Dynamic Island. Yeah, hopefully. We’ll talk about that.
Apple is adopting the iconic higher-end iPhone look by adding Dynamic Island, finally ending the iconic reign of terror of the notch. For the general consumer, the casual phone buyer, a person looking to save a buck or a few hundred and especially teenagers this is an incredible hand-me-down.
It’s like your big brother handing you his old iPhone, but to you it still feels new because it has a feature that your iPhone 8 definitely didn’t have. Oh, and he’s making you pay for it. $599 600 bucks. Gee, thanks, big brother.
Camera Setup
Just like you’ll be for Valentine’s Day this year, the camera on the back is single. But don’t worry, because just like you, the camera is very special and very strong.
48 megapixels, which if you’re playing along at home is not actually changed from the 16e. But thanks to the new processor that we’ll get to, the actual image processing is the improvement here, with better low-light performance for your dark, lonely life.
On the front, we’re leaning toward an 18-megapixel square sensor with Center Stage support. Perfect, because this phone will surely be purchased by exactly the people you expect to be using Snapchat. It will also be purchased by the people you exactly expect to not be using Snapchat anymore, ever and there’s no in between.
Design and Colors
The colors infused into this beautiful aluminum dopamine delivery system will either be black or white, and potentially a hero color. Last I heard, they had a lavender in testing. But listen, my guy, that was many, many, many months ago. You should not listen to anything that I say unless it’s about today’s sponsor.
Performance and Hardware
Inside iPhone 17e, you’re getting a slightly binned A19 chip. Trust me, the people buying this phone aren’t going to notice.
It will also have 8 GB of RAM, so your Apple Intelligence features will be just as useless as you need them to be. While some rumors claimed 256 GB of starting storage on the base model, for 600 bucks uh-uh.
On the front, that screen is the perfect size: 6.1 inches. And brace yourself, because this next one might hurt.
No ProMotion. It’s 60 Hz.
Another seemingly big upgrade, at least for a lower-tier model like this, is MagSafe support for wireless charging, something that the 16e shipped without.
The battery is right around 4,000 mAh. And thanks to the more efficient A19 and C1X chips, you can expect battery life to be anywhere between 2 and 24 hours. Apple will call that “all day.”
Final Thoughts: The Tim Cook Special?
It is not 2014 anymore. There are no bad phones. All phones are good phones. And the iPhone 17e is another good one.
Now, let’s circle back to Dynamic Island, because it’s the one thing that I’m not 100% confident in this year. These phones in particular are the Tim Cook special. Keep reusing tooling for longer than the lifespan of the phone it launched with. Rinse and repeat.
It’s the same reason the iPhone SE series looked like the iPhone 8 for years and years after that phone already looked archaic.
If this phone launches with no Dynamic Island if it has a notch reusing the chassis from iPhone 14 and costs you $600 yeah. No. Uh-uh.
Apple should be embarrassed, and you all should feel embarrassed for them.
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